19th Hole Comedy

The Wacky Side of Golf

19TH HOLE COMEDY

• Today, the blog • Tomorrow, the book

There is nothing in the Rules of Golf that says a golfer is not allowed to have a personality.

Chip Shots

This entry was posted on 1/2/2006 12:23 PM and is filed under uncategorized.

Do golf balls and pasta have something in common or did Martha Stewart name Noodle golf balls? I must say though, their headline is great: “Noodle, Long and Soft.”

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I’ve had lessons from every guru except the golf whisperer. What would he tell me -- psst, psst, psst?

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Don't do Hamlet over a missed putt. If you hit a bad shot the golf course hits back. Why get in a slugfest with something you mow?

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Televised golf needs Lewis Black reporting from the tower at sixteen.

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I'd rather play golf than eat. My playing partners would rather watch me eat.

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I ditched my 2-iron. It was an underplayed day-wrecker.

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Now that Augusta National televises the Masters commercial free we have an idea what golf on C-Span would be like.

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I wish I knew why touring pros wear sunglasses on the back of their heads on sunny days.

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Would you call Jesper Parnevik’s wardrobe "fashion courage?"

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No matter how good a set of used golf clubs might look, someone got sick and tired of them.

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My friend Dave bought new clubs recently -- at least they were new to him.

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It’s hard to imagine Scott Hoch blowing a party horn.

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A British newspaper ran this headline: “Blind Golfer Under Investigation.” Did he squat to line up a putt?

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Several things run through my mind on the green. One is: Help me pull the putter back.

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Putters don’t grow on trees. The ones up there are 3-putt helicopters.

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Let's play Jeopardy:

“Golf Trivia for $1,000, Alex.”

The answer is Pebble Beach.

“Um, that’s a tough one. Wait, I have it. What did Jesper Parnevik name his daughter?”

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

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Is there a golfer named Righty?

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Golf lessons are humiliating. Pros make me feel like a delinquent in the principal’s office. One pro told me to go pick up the balls.

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One Sunday, I realized I was wearing red, so I went home and changed.

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I have urges to chop down trees to make holes easier.

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Sergio Garcia’s waggle reminds me of Ed Norton limbering-up at the piano.

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Harley Schreckengost was on his way to a course record at the Fairbanks Alaska Golf and Sledding Club when the cup at 16 froze over.

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Chip Shots

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