The Wacky Side of Golf |
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19TH HOLE COMEDY • Today, the blog • Tomorrow, the book |
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We're In The Money This entry was posted on 4/12/2006 11:57 AM and is filed under uncategorized. “We’re in the money, we’re in the money. Strike up the band. We’re in the mon-ey, we’re-in-the-mon-ey.” I started to sing when I read the brochure from Van’s Pro Shop that arrived in the mail. I called the nearest Van’s Pro Shop, the one in Scottsdale, on Scottsdale Road. I called immediately. Mike: Van’s Pro shop, Mike speaking. May I help you? Me: I just received your brochure, and I’m looking at the ad for Noodle golf balls. It says, “The more you buy the more you save off each dozen. Buy one dozen, $1 off. Buy two dozen, $2.00 off. Buy three dozen, $3.00 off.” I wanna buy a hundred dozen. Mike: Okay. Me: How much will I save? Mike: Well, you save a dollar off each dozen. You save a hundred dollars, total. Me: That’s not what the ad says. It says the more I buy, the more I save -- off each dozen. If I save an extra dollar on each dozen, I should save $100 on the hundredth dozen, $99 on the 99th dozen, and so forth. Mike: I’ll have to get the store manager to talk to you. Me: Okay, I’ll wait. (humming) We’re in the mon-ey, we’re in the mon... Mgr.: Hello, I’m the manager, may I help you? Me: I was just telling Mike that I have your ad for Noodle golf balls and the ad says the more I buy the more I save, so I told Mike I want to buy a hundred dozen. But while he was getting you to come to the phone, I reconsidered. The offer is too good to stop at a hundred dozen. I think I’m going to sell my Mercedes and use the proceeds to buy two thousand dozen. Then, after you and I settle up, I might have saved enough to afford a Bentley. Mgr.: I’m sorry, there is a four dozen limit. Me: It doesn’t say so in the ad. The ad just says the more I buy the more I save. I might save you guys right into into Chapter 11. Mgr.: You’ll have to take it up with the main office. They wrote the ad. Me: Why don’t you do it. I’m just having fun with you. Mgr.: Yeah, but I guarantee there will be a sign in every Van’s Pro Shop store tomorrow that says, "Limit, Four Dozen." Me: Do I qualify for a finder’s fee? Like, maybe, a dollar a dozen? * * * |
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